I’ve had this posting on hold for a bit but now am sharing it with the world.

This title describes me, a title or aspect of myself without a name, that wasn’t a reality till I was in my late 30’s-early 40’s. One of my Psychology professors at Fresno State, Dr. Price commented on this matter to me, while in his office one day. Dr. Price was a teacher who I admired, world famous for his research and had taken every class he taught as an undergrad in the Psychology dept. One day while talking about stuff that was totally unrelated to ADHD, he looked at me and stated, ” did you know you have adult ADHD?”

The thought had never crossed my mind, it definitely caught my attention. Dr. Price asked some questions based on his observations in various settings and was spot on, in regards to his diagnosis. He further told me that adult ADHD can be different than what we commonly expect to see in kids.  In kids we typically see fidgetiness, obvious distracted, the kid on the play ground with spatial issues for example. Spatial issues means the child who runs into things/people and seems/doesn’t have a sense of the closeness of objects and people for example. Common site is they run thru a crowd as if the crowd wasn’t there and are surprised when informed of their perceived rudeness. Basically because their mind and senses are every where but the current space and time. I hadn’t that experience in my life as a child.

What Dr. Price was referring to in my case involved my sometimes talking over others, like the spatial issues, not rudeness just my mind needing to immediately get the thoughts spoke to be able to move forward. Along with being one of those people who either needs music, tv or other noise to help my mind focus on the tasks at hand. As much as I love libraries and I LOVE libraries, for school work and studying my mind just couldn’t handle the quiet. I’m somewhat the adernaline junkie. Love travel, roller coasters , definitely a lead foot/love to drive fast and have even been sky diving. I also have found a way to deal with my wandering mind in meetings, I’m an avid knitter and knit myself thru many meetings and trainings. Doodling does nothing my mind still wanders.

Also, there are many ups to this as well. Besides getting lots of knitting completed, I’ve got awesome time management skills/my mind loves to multitask and I can really get in the zone/tunnel vision. For those of you, who have experienced this or similar lifestyles. I would love to hear your stories and how you have dealt with the positives and not so positive aspects.

I’m a huge fan of Dale Carnegie and have been since I discovered him in high school, which amounts to a handful of decades. His writings have inspired me and helped me stay motivated, even when I became way off track.
Actually, he is one of many who have motivated me over the years. I plan on sharing my favorites quotes from them periodically on this blog . Originally I just had the link to the tweet on Twitter as the heading, but wasn’t happy with how that looked.

This particular quote also encouraged me to look back on my starting this blog and how much I have learned about blogging, the various social media sites and life in general.  I will have had my blog a year this October  but hadn’t posted anything on it till early this year. Partly hesitation, partly tossing all the ideas around in my head, the how, the why, the goals & basically what direction did I want to start this journey. I took that leap of faith and here I am. Glad I did and glad those who follow me here, on Twitter and Facebook have come along for the ride.

I talk about this in my first ever blog post “Here We Go.” Who knew where this would go or if it would go anywhere. Which is the positive side of taking action and not just wondering ” What if or why should I?” Well, here is the answer to that question so far. Who knows if this answer will change or what the outcome in the future will end up being for the blog, the Twitter account or the Facebook page. So, onward and forward.

One of my friends on Facebook posted and I felt it was appropriate for the blog.

”I think midlife is when the universe gently places her hands upon your shoulders, pulls you close, and whispers in your ear:
I’m not screwing around. It’s time. All of this pretending and performing – these coping mechanisms that you’ve developed to protect yourself from feeling inadequate and getting hurt – has to go.

Your armor is preventing you from growing into your gifts. I understand that you needed these protections when you were small. I understand that you believed your armor could help you secure all of the things you needed to feel worthy of love and belonging, but you’re still searching and you’re more lost than ever.

Time is growing short. There are unexplored adventures ahead of you. You can’t live the rest of your life worried about what other people think. You were born worthy of love and belonging. Courage and daring are coursing through you. You were made to live and love with your whole heart. It’s time to show up and be seen.”
Brené Brown

This post is a continuation of the previous post List? What List? I wanted to give readers a chance to think about their list, their place on it or why they aren’t on it at all. Hopefully, you have ideas and answers. If not, at least something to ponder.

When working with clients on this issue, two concerns come to the forefront and can be major stumbling blocks when working on achieving this goal. One is prioritizing time for themselves and teaching the others who are on their list to respect the new craved out space for yourself. Both can be equally difficult in the beginning, but equally rewarding to all involved in the long run.

How does one find the time to be in that #1 spot? Finding the time maybe easier than one might think once we decide to develope this habit. I encourage clients to find 15 minutes a day every day to begin. It doesn’t matter which part of the day it is, it is unique to everyone and their living situation . What you do with this personal time is all up to you. When in doubt on how to get this personal time, I will suggest to clients lock themselves in their bathroom or bedroom, set a timer and ignore the outside world. Read a book, take a bubble bath, crank the radio, go for a drive/walk, whatever works for you. Once you are comfortable with the 15 minutes of you time, slowly build it up to an hour. You’ll be amazed how much better you will feel about both yourself and everything else in the world. Plus those in your life will have a better appreciation as well.

i look forward to hearing how this is working for you. What you are doing. What are some of the struggles for you.

One thing I discovered while working in the psych hospital, is the importance of our list and where we are on this list. This list that I’m talking about is the list all of us have ranking the importance of those in our lives, hopefully including ourselves.

This topic comes up a lot in my current work as a rehab counselor and was recently revisited with a handful of clients over the last few months, especially in the last  week .  I felt it was a  perfect topic for the blog, more so than the topic that I was writing. Especially with summer upon us, it is a great time to start practicing this and make it a habit.

So, do you know where you are on your list? The top 5? Top 10? On your list at all? It’s been my observation over the past 15 yrs working in Social Services that most people aren’t in their top 5 much less the top 10. I’ve even meet many people who aren’t on their list at all. How sad is that? But hope is not lost, we can redo our list and  put us on the list.

The other question that I ask people those who have themselves on their list, where are you on your list?  Many people respond either with themselves at the bottom of the list or near the bottom of their list. Which also isn’t healthy.

People are often surprised when I encourage them to put themselves at #1 on their list.  A common response is, “I can’t do that, I have responsibilities. I have kids, husband, work, church…….”  I will often encourage clients to think about their feelings of exhaustion, being overwhelmed and resenting those who rank above them on their list & why they feel that way. The answer always comes down to not putting themselves first on their list.

So, I ask you, where are you on your list? If not, why?

I ponder this year, as my birthday has come and gone, the big milestones that have  happened this year.  First of all, this has been a difficult post to write. Unsure if a mixture of hormones or realizing that the fives and tens of my birthday and other birthdays of my daughter & grandchildren have struck reality in my life. This truly is a year of important numbers.

What I mean by fives and tens is basically our ages. I turned 55 this yr, my daughter is now 30 and my grandkids 10 & 5. How did we get here? It really struck home when my daughter and her family were here for X-mas holidays. My daughter made an off the cuff remark, stating that she knew she was getting older when she couldn’t relate to 20 year olds anymore. “They seem so immature.” Wow! It had never crossed my mind that I would ever hear that from her. I’m unsure if I feel that way, in regards to those younger than myself, including the 20 somethings.

Which is part of the reason for this post, embrace the milestones in your life, no matter how big or small. When working with clients and they have hit those rough moments in their lives and feeling that they can’t move forward, I remind them of one very important fact. ” Remember where you were when we first meet and all the progress you have made between then and now.” I’ve rarely had anyone not stop, think for a moment and a lightbulb goes off in their mind. They will tell me, “yes that is true.”  Sometimes we all need someone or something to remind us of the milestones, those moments when our world seems more perfect than ever.