Jobs are like dating


Though, I choose this title for a blog post, it’s meaning is deeper than it’s first impression. Actually, it’s not just jobs are like dating, but life in general. I thought   “jobs are like dating,” is a more catchy title or not. Blogging as well can be like dating.

I had this conversation with a client in my office the other day and immediately thought blog post! It has been awhile since I had this conversation with anyone, so I thought, ” New Year, New Goals.” Let’s not talk about resolutions but more of a reality check and putting things in perspective.

This conversation comes up from time to time with clients when they are putting employment and other aspects of their life into perspective and learning more about themselves. Typically, it will start out as a conversation about past jobs that one has had and the why’s & why not of these jobs or job choices having not being a good fit and the reasons they wouldn’t return to those occupations or employers  Along with choices and situations that lead to that job and the reasons they are not there at this point in time.

Early on in my Social Service career after such a conversation, I was talking to a colleague and made the statement about how much jobs are like dating along with many aspects of life. The comparison is amazing if one thinks about it. So, how is dating like jobs and life in general, one might ask?

If one thinks about it, what are the key aspects of dating?

1. Meeting someone who might be a good fit.

2. Trying out, spending time with a person to see if this is where you would like to spend your valuable time and energy with and on.

3. Deciding if this is someone/something that you are willing to commit yourself.

4. What type of relationship can/do you see yourself having?

5. Could this be long term, short term or just one date event?

Putting job search or other aspects of your life into this perspective or conversation with either yourself or someone you trust can be helpful. Especially in regards to making decisions about various aspects of one’s life or dealing with unhappiness in your life.

I often encourage clients to use this technique in putting value on various aspects of their life past and present. An example of this could be:

What was it about a certain job  that you have that you hated or felt was weighing down your soul?

If it were a person how would you treat it or feel about it?

What would you like to change about this situation?

I have also reversed this in conversation with clients to review what is working for them, makes them happy and the reasons why these are positives for them. This conversation is also useful in regards in also figuring out what works and doesn’t for someone. Which is equally important in regards to figuring out how to proceed with ones life.

Another other reason I use this approach instead of the traditional Pros & Cons list with some of my clients is to help them sort out the various aspects of their life no matter their age. In my day job I work with a population between the ages 16-70+, so this scenario has different meanings to them, due to ages, life experiences, expectations and needs. As I often tell colleagues and clients, what we want from dating is different as a teenager than at ages 25, 34 45, 50 and on up. Hopefully, as we move through life and get to know ourselves, we understand what we want, what we are willing to put up with and won’t tolerate. Along with what has been learned from both our mistakes and the positive experiences in life.

Whether evaluating or re-evaluating aspects of life it can be difficult to find a starting point for people. So, putting a different spin or approach in the quest to figure out oneself and achieving our goals, personally and professionally, can be quite effective.

This is a vital key to reaching and achieving happiness. Studies show (there are many of them out there) and I encourage you to check them out in support of the relationship between happiness and health. I’m a firm believer in quality over quantity in all aspects of ones life. How you define happiness, success and quantity/quality of life is up to you. If stuck, I can help you figure out how to get there, just feel free to contact me.