A common and sometimes fun conversation I have with some of my clients as they reach various milestones both big and small is “The Theory of Wish Fulfillment.” I can’t remember who introduced me to this theory, it was at least 15-20 years ago. I will admit it sounds like faux psychology when it is mentioned to people. But it has a basis in reality and as with many aspects of life, it is about your perception of yourself and your life. Both numerous studies and interviews with people who have either achieved or are working on achieving their goals state thinking about their wishes/goals/dreams and literally being able to feel/taste it with every fiber of their body are key components to being able to reach their hearts desires.
When my husband Nat and I transferred to Eureka, our first home here was a small rental. Which was very different from our previous home, which was spacious, lots and lots of storage space and a two car garage. Our new small home didn’t have these luxuries, no garage, limited storage and no dishwasher (a biggie for me). At the time it wasn’t what mattered to us. We were working and living in the same town together finally and had a million dollar view off the back deck. This million dollar gift at the edge of our backyard was a slough, a water view. I had promised my husband in my search for employment closer together, so we wouldn’t be working four hours apart, that we would end up by the water again. A promise I was determined to keep to him. Both of us love being by the water so, despite the other inconveniences of our small home, life was good.
A few months after we were living in Eureka, our landlord was moving out of her gorgeous home, which was two doors down from us and on the slough as well. Nat was outside one day and noticed that she and her son were moving furniture out of her home. Curious, Nat wandered over to see what was going on. He discovered she was moving to the other side of town and she took him on a tour of the home. He was smitten, came home later and excitedly told me, “I want to own that house someday.”
Everyday after that moment, for 3 yrs we drove by that house and we said as we drove by it, “One day you will be ours!”
We patiently waited three years of shear agony, watching others come and look at “our home.” We dreaded each time we saw cars in front of the house, worried that our dream home would slip through our hands. Eventually, after 3 years we were finally in a position to purchase our dream home and were able truly call it ours. The moral of story is that if you wish/want something bad enough, you have the power to make it happen.
Self-Talk, the ability and desire to convince and talk yourself into what you desire and dream for your life. Also self-talk can be negative if you let it. As with many things in life it is about your perception of yourself and your life. Both numerous studies and interviews with people who have either achieved or are working on achieving their goals state that thinking about their wishes/goals/dreams are a key component to being able to reach their hearts desire.
When I bring this topic up with clients, they often have to think on it. Many realize the truth it in, especially as their goals unfold in front of them. This talk is also useful when one is struggling, having hit that rough moment in their journey. We often revisit how far they have come and which parts of their dreams and wishes have come true so far.
How are you doing in regards to reaching your goals? How far are you in your journey? If you have reached your goals, what helped/has helped you them? Continue reading “Theory of Wish Fulfillment”